a confession...

I really don't know what to do.


I feel so down.


I am lost.


I have been doing crazy things since I got home and I can't even understand why I do it.


It's not even the first time I did it. I can't stop myself from eating. Maybe because it's the only pleasure that I can have so easily, specially after a very stressful day, like today T_T. I just love to eat. Maybe I am really born to taste different kinds of food. An addiction that seems to run in my veins.

But then, after all the pleasure, all the happiness i get, a guilt feeling would creep up to my whole being. A guilt feeling that would not leave me alone. That feeling would hunt me even when I sleep, up untill I wake up in the morning. Telling me that I did bad again.


Then I'll have to do it. I know it's not right. It's wrong, very wrong. I am a future nurse. I know the consequences. But what can I do? Even the nurse in me can not stop this insanity. It hurts, it hurts so much, my eyes would swell like I cried for two days straight. I don't want this feeling, I don't want to do this anymore.


Maybe,,,someday....someone will help me.....